Helping Parents Deal with Separation Anxiety

I sometimes have children who experience separation anxiety when their parents are dropping them off for the day. It's a natural part of development, sure, but there are also things that you can do to alleviate a lot of those tears and fears.

I'm especially fond of tip #3 in this video: Commit to your Exit. Let parents know that it's not a bad idea at all to hang out for a few minutes while their child gets comfortable. I always welcomed that and it's so much easier on a child than drop-and-run. What I didn't enjoy, however, was when a child would get involved in an activity and was perfectly happy and then Mom or Dad would made a big show of leaving. A content, acclimated child would suddenly become stricken with sorrow after hearing, "OK honey, I'm leaving. Mommy's going. Bye. Sweetie? Sweetie? Look over here at me. Mommy has to go. I'm really leaving this time. Here I go. I'm going." Please know that if that's how parents are behaving at drop-off time, it's a trigger for their child's anxiety rather than a help and you should let the parent know about it and give them ideas about how to handle the situation better. (Send them a link to the video!)

At the same time, I wouldn't ever advise parents to sneak out the door just because they see their child is happy at play. Something as simple as a kiss on the forehead and, "Looks like you're having fun. I'll see you later," is all that's needed before they walk out the door. I've seen children have some pretty hard-to-calm breakdowns after realizing that a parent left without them knowing. It's a delicate balance between too much goodbye and not enough, but it's one worth finding.

_{Photo Credit: "Bye Bye Window" by ThreeErin under CC by ND 2.0 license.}

Parent Handout: Oatmeal Bath

Winter is here in full force and you've probably noticed some of the children in your care are experiencing this in the form of dry, red or itchy skin. I always like to put together newsletters and handouts for my parents where I include not just information about what's up in the classroom, but also helpful tips on saving money and caring for their children at home.

This letter can be incorporated into your own newsletter or sent out individually as you notice specific children who might need some skin soothing. For instance, every time you send a child home with chicken pox, just slip one of these notes into their backpack, folder or cubby. I also like to keep a little packet of bulk "Get Well Soon" cards around for these illnesses where I know the student is going to be gone for a while and missing buddies. Depending on the age of the children in your care, children can sign their names, draw a picture in the card or you can take dictation of a message.

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Dear Parent:

I hope that this information about a colloidal oatmeal bath can help you with your child's recent skin irritation. This bath can be used to soothe general itchiness and that caused by dry skin, chicken pox, poison ivy, diaper rash, bug bites, eczema and sunburn. You can also buy a commercially-prepared product like the little Aveeno packets, but this recipe will save you money and you probably already have oatmeal at home.

First, take 2 cups of oatmeal (any type - including instant) and blend in a food processor, blender or coffee grinder until you have a fine powder. To test if you've ground the oats enough, stir a tablespoon into some warm water. It should dissolve easily and the water should look milky.

Store this powder in an air-tight container. For each bath, use about 1/3 to 1/2 cup oats sprinkled into the bath and then stirred with your hand. Some parents use a knee-high panty-hose filled with the powder and stretched over the water nozzle while the water is running to strain out any larger bits and avoid clumping.

I hope that your child's skin heals quickly. If you need any other information, I hope you'll let me know. I'd be happy to help you with any other resources you might need.

Sincerely,

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Bounty - Kiddie-Do List Maker

Bounty - Kiddie-Do List Maker

Do you have parents who are asking about how to get the kids to get their chores done or who want their children to learn to set daily or weekly goals?

Bounty has this cute list maker where you just plug in your tasks and pick a background and it prints up all snazzy.

There are other versions available like one for significant others or for yourself. Might come in handy if you're co-teaching and have tasks to share for the week as well.

In addition, check out the calendar you can print and personalize with a class picture.

Classroom Wishlist

Classroom Wishlist

What an awesome idea. I cannot begin to tell you how much money I've spent over the years on things for the classroom because it wasn't in the budget or because a director or whoever deemed it unnecessary. I should own stock in the contact paper company. Seriously. And how many times did I run out of boxes of tissues before the year was over? And really, I cannot name a single time that there was enough colored tissue paper for a single project I've done.

And I'm not a wasteful teacher, either. I save every little scrap of tissue and construction paper. I get newspapers to donate the ends of their rolls of paper for art projects. I use the backs of company letterheads that would be tossed out every time someone goes through "rebranding." I am the queen of wallpaper and carpet scraps. I melt crayons down into multi-colored sticks. I make my own paints, pastes and glues wherever possible. Every container for manipulatives and art supplies used to be a container for something else -- oatmeal, chocolate milk mix, baby wipes... I could go on forever here.

Now, you can sign up here, add items to your wishlist and send a brochure to your parents. If they want to donate items, they can do so and it's tax deductible.

Give it a try. If you're already using this system, feel free to leave a comment and let readers know how it's working for you.

Sample Enrollment Form

An enrollment form is more than just a place for contact information. It can be a place to learn more about the child who will be in your care. Knowing information like what a child's favorite toys are or how a parent soothes their crying baby can be so valuable.

Below you will find links to a sample enrollment form. You can save and print the .pdf version or you can download the Word document and make changes to reflect your own setting.

.pdf version of sample enrollment form

Microsoft Word version of sample enrollment form.

Sample Family Child Care Provider Contract

This contract is a sample agreement between parents and a family child care provider. You can download the .pdf version and print it or you can download the Word version and make changes to reflect your own business and policies.

Having a contract is important. It's tempting, because of the sometimes informal nature of relations between parents and home providers, to do business on a handshake. Many providers have gotten "burned" this way. Usually because of payment issues, but other issues arise as well. It's hard to enforce a policy when it's not in writing and the parent didn't know about it beforehand.

For example, if your hours of operation are 8:00 to 6:00 and you have a parent consistently coming at 6:30, it's easier to keep this in check when you have a signed agreement that you can point to and say -- you signed this, you agreed to it, there is a charge for late pick-ups and I'm going to have to charge it if you're late in the future.

You need time to unwind when the day is over. You need time to clean up and have time for yourself and your own family. Make sure that your policies reflect this. It's one thing to be bending and flexible when necessary, but it's another to let your business take over your life. Some parents will take advantage if they can, so offer them clarity from the start, and the relationship will be much better for it.

Note, too, that in many states, a contract like this is required before providers can become licensed. And even if it isn't, a contract like this can fulfill licensing requirements like having hours of operation in writing, having a written discipline policy, notifying parents of immunization requirements, etc.

.pdf version of sample family child care provider contract

Microsoft Word version of sample family child care provider contract

Thieves Target Parents at Child Care Centers

Here's a story about some robbers who know opportunity when they see it. They target busy parents and it only takes a minute for it to happen.

If you work in a child care center or have a family child care setting, you've probably seen it a million times. Parents come to drop off or pick up their kids and, expecting to be inside for just a moment, they leave the keys in the car, sometimes with the car still running.

It happens, too, when parents of babies or multiple children have backpacks, diaper bags, show-and-tell items, car seats or baby carriers, bags of diapers... It's a lot to deal with in a busy parking lot when they're possibly already late for work.

I know some centers have morning and afternoon staff that are dedicated to helping parents get in and out at these times, and wouldn't we all be so lucky if we could afford to staff our facilities like this? A possibility might be to instruct staff, if the ratios are right and there are extra hands around, to help out in this way.

The more realistic option would be to print the above article out and distribute it to parents with your monthly or weekly newsletter with some guidelines on how to avoid this. Maybe hold a parent education night and invite your police officers to talk about this danger.

You might think your center is in a low-crime area or that you're not at risk for this, but that's exactly what criminals are hoping. This type of theft happens more often than you'd think.