Separation Anxiety

When I was a child care provider, I sometimes had toddlers who experienced separation anxiety when their parents were dropping them off for the day. It's a natural part of development, sure, but there are also things that you can do to alleviate a lot of those tears and fears.

One strong word of advice I can offer: Commit to your Exit. It's not a bad idea at all to hang out for a few minutes while your child gets comfortable. I have always encouraged that and it's so much easier on a child than drop-and-run. What I didn't enjoy was when the child got involved in the activity and was happy and Mom or Dad made a big show of leaving. A content, acclimated child would suddenly become stricken with sorrow after hearing, "OK honey, I'm leaving. Mommy's going. Bye. Sweetie? Sweetie? Mommy has to go. I'm really leaving this time. Here I go. I'm gooooooooooooing." Please know that if that's your behavior at drop-off time, it's a trigger for your child's anxiety rather than something that settle it.

At the same time, I don't advise ever sneaking out the door just because you see your child is happy at play. Something as simple as a kiss on the forehead and, "Looks like you're having fun. I'll see you later," is all that's needed before you walk out the door. I've seen children have some pretty hard-to-calm breakdowns after realizing that a parent left without them knowing or getting a chance to say goodbye. It's a delicate balance between too much goodbye and not enough, but it's one worth finding.

If you are a teacher, how do you help ease separation anxiety for your students and parents?

If you are a parent, how do you want your child's teacher to handle your child's separation anxiety?

Ways to Beat the Summer Heat with Young Children

It's so incredibly hot outside here in Texas. I literally cannot remember the last time the high was below 90. All my plants = dying. My neighbor's super green lawn? Yeah, I don't want to see that water bill. Apparently neither do any of my other neighbors who join me in the brown + patchy lawn club. It's really tempting to just stay inside and be a vegetable all day but when you've got young children who want to go go go all the time, it's not very practical. So what can you do? I've rounded up some ideas you can use every day this week.

• Find an indoor playground (like the Little Gym or even a fast food place) with some air conditioning.
• Head to a museum with -- guess what? -- air conditioning.
• Bust out the sprinkler, get some water toys, make your own popsicles and eat them outside. Bonus: Your lawn gets watered at the same time!
• Head to the beach. And remember, lakes have beaches, too! Also remember sunscreen.
• Does Grandma or any other nearby relatives have air conditioning? Then grab your binkis and get in the car, kiddo! 
• Find a local library and join a wonderfully cool story time.
• Go ahead and stay home. Every day can't be an outing. But take advantage of this day to monitor your own and your child's water consumption so you know you're getting enough on these hot days.

What do you do when it's hot outside to keep your children (and yourself) from going stir-crazy?

Weekly Poll: Do You Use Latex or Nitrile Gloves for Diaper Changes?

It's winter. It's that time of year when keeping the bad bugs to a minimum is something that's on every caregiver's mind. Do you take extra precautions when it comes to diaper changes or does your center have rules about wearing gloves? If you're the one making the rules, why have you chosen to wear gloves (or not) during diaper changes?

I'll share a story. I once worked with a group of infants and while it was not policy that we had to wear gloves, they were available for us if we wanted them. I was standing talking to another teacher while she was starting to change her babies. She put a pair of gloves on and changed the first child. Then, with gloves still on, she put that baby on the floor and then grabbed her next baby and started right in on the next diaper change.

I stopped her immediately and asked her why she was changing diapers that way and she told me she didn't need to wash her hands or anything since she had gloves on! I told her that the gloves were not to protect her hands from getting soiled, but rather it was to help stop contamination / spread of infection from one child to another or from the child to her / her to the child and that for it to be effective she would need to change gloves between each change. She told me she thought that would just be wasteful, but she did start changing the gloves. But then she didn't wash her hands between changes. In the state where I was working at the time, Texas, the licensing regulation stated, "If you use disposable gloves, you must discard them after each diaper change and wash your hands with soap and running water."

Later, I was subbing in the toddler room and noticed that the caregiver there did the same thing, so I talked to her about it as well. We were able to submit ideas for in-service classes so I added that to the list. I think I just put something general like "ways to prevent the spread of infection" so that I wasn't calling everyone out, but it was clear that we needed some re-education in that area.

_{Photo Credit: "Magic Kingdom - Diaper Changing Table" by David under CC by 2.0 license.}

Helping Parents Deal with Separation Anxiety

I sometimes have children who experience separation anxiety when their parents are dropping them off for the day. It's a natural part of development, sure, but there are also things that you can do to alleviate a lot of those tears and fears.

I'm especially fond of tip #3 in this video: Commit to your Exit. Let parents know that it's not a bad idea at all to hang out for a few minutes while their child gets comfortable. I always welcomed that and it's so much easier on a child than drop-and-run. What I didn't enjoy, however, was when a child would get involved in an activity and was perfectly happy and then Mom or Dad would made a big show of leaving. A content, acclimated child would suddenly become stricken with sorrow after hearing, "OK honey, I'm leaving. Mommy's going. Bye. Sweetie? Sweetie? Look over here at me. Mommy has to go. I'm really leaving this time. Here I go. I'm going." Please know that if that's how parents are behaving at drop-off time, it's a trigger for their child's anxiety rather than a help and you should let the parent know about it and give them ideas about how to handle the situation better. (Send them a link to the video!)

At the same time, I wouldn't ever advise parents to sneak out the door just because they see their child is happy at play. Something as simple as a kiss on the forehead and, "Looks like you're having fun. I'll see you later," is all that's needed before they walk out the door. I've seen children have some pretty hard-to-calm breakdowns after realizing that a parent left without them knowing. It's a delicate balance between too much goodbye and not enough, but it's one worth finding.

_{Photo Credit: "Bye Bye Window" by ThreeErin under CC by ND 2.0 license.}